I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize