He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
