Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
