I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window