at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat