Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.