someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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