Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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