I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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