He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
