I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
