Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
