i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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