i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
