No subtext here. People are naked.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
