and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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