he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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