i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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