There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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