Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
