So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's blow job season.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
