Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
