I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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