i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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