summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
