How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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