we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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