He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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