Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
