i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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