I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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