His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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