First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
