Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
