She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
