operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
