sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
