Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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