this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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