Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He passed out mid-signature
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
