Farmville is her only friend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
