his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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