no you cant smoke seaweed
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
