i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
