I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She even gives head with a lisp.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
