you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
