wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
