Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
