I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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