apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize