I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
