my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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