you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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