shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
that's an acceptable place to lick
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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