A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
