I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
