BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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