It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i now understand why vodka
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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