chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
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