sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
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Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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