I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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