I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
